String Theory

Pha has loaded the room with all sorts of weird stuff. I've made him put an open book-bag on the floor for my seating pleasure. For some reason, pha almost always chooses to work in or around my future napping spots. Recently he placed some fuzzy, foot-length stringy things around the open book-bag. Them be weird! After my benign boxing/swatting/wrestling matches, the offending string would occasionally disappear. Surprised, I have to meow to get pha's attention. He oddly manages to pluck the stringy thing from my tail or back. "Chill out, cat, it is just a pipe-cleaner" is not a calming message. The term "static electricity" is gibberish. The stringy things are evil. I'll hunt them down until something better comes along. Ooh a shoelace...

Mine!

For about a month or so pha has been doing some new, weird things. He is dabbling with lots of thick liquids, wooden and plastic thingamajigs and odd furniture. As a born supervisor I have to keep an eye on all this. Pha won't let me sniff the thick liquids so I just sit nearby and watch. Well, I doze off most of the time. Anyway pha has this brown footstool on which he puts the white, folding contraption. When he takes a break, he often places the thing on his belly and stares at it. I have tried sharing the silly human's tummy with it but I deserve more attention. Currently I am working on annexing the brown footstool. Pha isn't happy about this as when I curl and sprawl there is little to no space left for the white contraption. He has tried alternating it with me between the footstool and his belly. Nothing doing. Feline code is simple, anything you have is ours and we don't share.

Skyence (cee be damned)

I am a genius(duh!). I have discovered an entirely new creature. My research shows there is only one in this entire planet. It is four-legged and has razor-sharp claws. It likes bugging other, nicer creatures during their nature-calls. It prefers quiet, dark and cool places. It naps 28 hours a day. Its other behaviour, which gave it its name, is to stay around, on and near pha way too darn friggin' long. Its called a phaHog(var. pha-hog). The over-protective and territorial attitude inhibits sis, I mean phaHog, from making new friends or even keeping the old ones. You try slapping your buddy using the toilet and see how he or she likes it. The phaHog likes to have fish, chicken or goat kibbles and crunchy treats in its diet. It eats VERY slow thus letting ex-pals have seconds. I suppose it evens out the swatting-ambushes...nah, it doesn't. Did I tell you its ugly too? And fat?!

Please let me use the litter-box in peace.

Who Goes There?

Empty is the place
Darkest is the time
I am the monster
Patrolling the site

Some distant shuffles
Few alien scents
Feel the claws unfurl
Who questions my might?

pha is examined
As the black cat snores
Go away human
Florence rules the night

Knot Good

Being long-haired has its disadvantages. My tongue is pretty adept at dealing with most issues but some problems are harder to lick. Pha grooms me quite regularly but I am blaming him for the recent troubles. A couple of stubborn tangles are not going away Respecting my delicate skin, pha switched the fine, metal brush with a rubber comb a little while back. Perhaps my fur is missing the brush. I won't be grumbling much had pha stuck with just using the rubber comb. Whenever I am on him, he tries to pass his fingers through the matted area. The silly human has received numerous bites and swats for his insolence but hasn't learned yet. Now I have a decision to make, forget the clump or ignore the klutz.

Meatball Surgery(sorry)

Nathan is mimicking some of my actions these days. He has tried sharing the quilt with pha and resting on the belly of the silly human. Before we cats settle down, we like to soften with our paws the space underneath, be it artificial or human furniture. Some humans just grimace and keep still when this happens, others just yelp and shoo us away. Pha likes us on him. I have gotten to know good seating places on him like the navel, the lower ribcage and the general thigh area. Nathan is new at this. I have seen him trying to neuter the poor human without even realizing it. Pha would attempt to divert bro to proper areas better suited for softening. If you didn't know, paws have claws which aren't very dull. Nathan doesn't like these redirections and usually just storms off. Pha is left sheepish but no doubt relieved to have kept his gender. I just have fun watching all this.

Couch Wars

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...nah, too geeky. I suppose I should just start. Florence has began to linger more and more downstairs and it is beginning to bug me. Pha has this old la-z-boy in the room and its my prime resting spot. There is a gap between the footrest and the couch which provides great tactical advantages. It affords me clever positioning for hit-and-run and counter-strikes. Most importantly it is my favourite pouncing area for after-litter ambush. Whoa, hyphen overload. Anyways, sis is using the space. I doubt if she recognizes all the strategic assets. She just wants to mimic the human lug. I must protect my turf. I have tried some retaliatory moves like becoming a sleeping pill on pha's belly a la sis. Thing is I myself get drowsy and go to the la-z-boy. The cycle starts again. What's a cat to do? Meow?

Tag Teamed

Sometimes the two primary humans would sit on the sectional sofa together. I love to position myself between the two. On such occasions I am a proud cat. My humans, left and right, petting, caressing, scratching and massaging me. Beat that, Nathan. I wish they'd stay longer. Don't get confused, pha. I just like the company. Good times.

Silly Human Down

For a few days now pha has been mostly down. None of my efforts to cajole him out of the bed have worked. I have tried everything from polite meows to sharp yells. He stares blankly at me and sort of purrs. It threw me off at first. Was he in a laziness contest with sis? She is the undisputed champion. He has been regularly making weird nasal sounds too. I wonder if he's seeing some rival human. If that is the case though, he needn't bother. His stench alone is enough of a deterrent. A sick pha is even less fun than a healthy pha, which is almost impossible. I am losing patience. Enough down time, human. Move! Appreciate the marvel that is me.

Yawn, Quit Calling Me Lazy

I have rediscovered pha. Perhaps the change in weather has something to do with it. Whatever he is under I want in. Going below the quilt is awesome. I have just about developed a three-step regimen. I sleep on pha. I sleep besides pha. I sleep near pha. After all that it's time for a tongue-bath and I am off. There are other sleep appointments for me to keep upstairs.


P.S. Quit whining that I don't come when crunchy treats are distributed. I am making you exercise, human.

Happy Days

I don't have any gripes this time. The past week has been excellent. I was getting tired of my hairbrush. It wasn't soothing my delicate skin enough. Pha has replaced it with his own. The change is nice. I can fault him for scrimping but I am in a good mood and also the beneficiary. He did buy new scented litter. It is one of life's greatest joys to inaugurate the new batch. The package also included a catnip pillow. Its big size matches my great personality. I am a little curious about this increase in attention. I am not going anywhere, human. Oh well, the high is fading. Pillow of delight here I come...

Mere Punching Bags

Don't bug me blog, I am grouchy. Nathan is not responding to my fight invitations. I have slapped him around quite a bit in the last little while but it's just not the same. The problem is not really a new one. Bro and I do spar but not enough and totally at his initiation. Lions, tigers, leopards, cheetahs and my other relatives all are well-versed in attacking and defending. I feel rusty and out of practice. While we guard the human litter-box with pha inside I have slashed Nathan without a response. Punches thrown as we wait for pha to serve our meals are going unanswered. Even quality swats from heights when bro passes by are ignored. Golden opportunities are lost especially when nobody is around to witness my wild side or attest against my meek reputation. Pha is also angering me(more). Just the other day I nailed him good and he just walked away. There were no screams, no signs of irritation, just the deafening quiet. What's a warm-blooded cat to do?

Darn Squatter

My naps are divided among four spots. I rotate them according to traffic and time of the day. The sectional couch is one of my favourites. There is a specific location on it that provides the best view and optimal rest. When pha comes upstairs, more often than not he would sit on that couch. No prizes for guessing the exact place where the yahoo would dump his sorry self. Sis, if present, joins him to get serviced. My sharp stares have had little impact on the silly human. I have climbed the coffee-table next to the couch to ogle the brute into submission. It has not worked thus far. I like the sectional and want it vacant. It is ugly but comfortable, kinda like Florence. Thankfully, pha only stays for a short while.

Under Cover

I was getting bored and craving crunchy treats. I decided to pay downstairs a quick visit. While tackling the wooden steps I realized it was pretty cold. It's unusual for heat levels to dip that low during late mornings. I have given up on understanding the heating methods of humans. Anyway, I found pha, lying on his side, under the quilt. He looked asleep so I climbed the bed and meowed. He mimicked it. Confused, I repeated. He meowed again! Sour at his prank, I decided to have a serious face-to-face with the silly man. As I slid under the quilt, I was greeted with a pleasant warmth. Pha was awake and eager to please. I got a caress-massage mix, which was just what the doctor ordered. Relaxed, I opted for a quick payback and sprawled on my side. I can copy stuff too. The goofball had dozed off. Stretching, I raced upstairs to my bed. Naps are contagious.

Scaredy Cat

A week ago, pha witnessed a small dog being crippled by a car. Since then he is very protective and overly affectionate. Constant hugs and on-demand grooming have been unleashed. The latter mediates for the former. Minor flaws in technique have become magnified due to mere repetition. I like to play with the comb during the session. A few little bites and a couple of quick swats are common. Sometimes pha gets in the way. He would either continue grooming or altogether quit, depending on the severity of the strike. It is nearly impossible to get him started again once he has quit. He needs to suck it up. So what if I pierce a bit of skin or the scratches sting for a while? Wear them as badges of honour, pal. The length of the session is solely my decision. The collateral damage is just a minor nuisance, you wuss of a human. Pleasure me!

Yuck!

Pha is going through one of his meddling phases. Every so often he would get an idea about bettering his service. The move from water-bowl to water-fountain and from big-company-junkfood to small-firm-healthfood are highlights of his previous fits. Presently he is experimenting with our wet food. Salmon and turkey have been added to tuna in our menu. I can't stand either of them. It reminds me of dark ages when pha would feed us cat food(!). Our delicate palates have gotten used to human-grade food. The crunchy salmon and dry turkey, albeit the correct class, are just unacceptable. I hope leaving most of my meals untouched is enough of a sign for pha. Don't make me resort to spewing hair-balls!

Reserved Parking

It's hard to be jealous of a machine but a certain folding contraption is getting on my nerves. On select occasions I approach pha and expect his torso to be available. He needs to be awake and attentive to grasp the importance of such privilege. It is my right to treat him as a self-heating bed. Often I find him busy meddling with the white gadget. Not only is the device blocking my territory but is also impeding his awareness. An exquisite creature like myself warrants complete focus and highest respect. Pha better correct this mistake as I don't share humans.

Life 101

I don't want to clog this space with a series of rebuttals. Nathan's strut and pha's pout, however, need to be addressed. My absence downstairs has given the wrong impression. Like any shrewd adult I believe in a diverse portfolio. Upstairs offers a vastly superior range of resources and amusements. Water, dry food and wet food verses the litter-box is not even a contest. I can keep an eye on both the driveway and the backyard. Yummy squirrels, rival cats and petite birds aren't visible from downstairs. Most importantly, nothing can beat the human circus constantly around me. A shuffling human beanbag in underwear is a sight to behold. The beeline sleepy cooker makes to the teapot many times a day cracks me up. Just the other day I enjoyed watching her all dolled up (or like a plump peahen as pha put it). I also get to meet and greet my other primary provider and the father figure of the pride. Bro can be an enigma. I prefer being open. As far as pha is concerned, he is a lifer. He will be happy whenever I choose to honour him with my presence. I wonder if he'll feel the same way about the aftereffects of my imminent use of the litter-box.

O Human, Where Wert Thou?

Florence has lost her edge. Cats take pride in their curiosity and vigilance. Some recent events provided us with a chance to investigate and I was the only feline at the scene. For couple of days pha would don rarely used gear and leave the house before dawn. He would return at or after dusk smelling like dirt, sweat and strange places. He got the requisite scolding for leaving us, the precious creatures, unattended. The silly human seemed sheepish and, oddly enough, grateful at my inquiries. Ever since then, I have been getting thorough combings and loads of crunchy treats at demand. It goes without saying that I deserve a lot more. I just think that had sis joined me confronting pha, she would also have benefited. Humans are so easy to manipulate. Utter a small purr or give them little company and they start cooing and strutting like idiots. I suppose Florence chose rest over amusement.

Amuse Me!

Pha, dumb as he is, recently learned a good contact technique. He tried it on bro and got a lukewarm response. Disappointed, he turned to me for a different, and superior, perspective. I absolutely love the strong hand massage. If applied properly, the massage yields a mix of relaxation and pleasure. Banal as it is, I appreciate the human contact. Unlike Nathan and his feudal beliefs, I consider pha an acquaintance (he better leap with joy when he reads this). I would be okay with regular interaction, a bit like that among co-workers or regulars on a bus. To borrow bro's term, "I have stakes" in the sleepy cooker and the human beanbag because they are around me the most. They talk to me lovingly and politely, which I so deserve. I don't even mind the occasional shooing away from the human beanbag. He is afforded such liberties because he is my buddy (aren't all seating apparatuses?). Coming back to the massage, continue it pha, I like it. Isn't that all that matters?

An open letter to Florence

I am very irritated at your non-nature-call incursions. It's enough that I let you deposit your weapons of mass destruction in the litter-box inside MY territory. Pha is my serf. I let him pet you and put you on his lap upstairs because I am a nice cat. Downstairs is my domain. Pha rents it out by combing me. You already have stakes in the sleepy cooker and the human beanbag. I don't. Lay off pha or I'll strike my cheeks to your paws and have my ears insert your hisses. It has taken me forever to have pha smelling like something decent, namely me. Stick to your old-couch-scratching and dining-chair(s)-hogging, sis. You have been warned.


p.s. Haven't seen you downstairs in a while, are you okay?

smells like (something mean, rhyming with teen) spirit

While taking a nap, I could hear the sound of water coming from pha's lair. Since he is alone there most of the time, I was sure pha was in the less smelly human litter-box. I won't even call it a litter-box. As pha doesn't give himself tongue-baths(the fool!) I am pretty sure the place is used for tongue-less cleaning. Pha rarely uses it though, but that is a separate blog unto itself. Whenever pha emerges from that artificial licking room, he is a touch cleaner. Our scent-marks on him are also gone. These times are perfect for reclaiming him. Feeling uncharacteristically lazy, I took my time getting to his room. Upon peeking inside, I was horrified to find Nathan already on his lap. Now pha will smell like him. Worst yet, Nathan will emit a mixed odor of pha and the artificial-licking stuff. I can already imagine bro strutting around, proud of claiming that silly human. I have to wait for the next time to mark pha, a long, long wait.

Quit hogging my conditioner!

Pha is getting too comfortable around me. He is taking liberties that will soon result in scolding and biting. When I am sitting on him, he is supposed to stay still and keep me warm. I can stand occasional caresses but nothing more. The problem occurs when I am giving myself a tongue-bath. Pha would purposely place his hands in my tongue's path. It's different when I moisten his fingers before getting my whiskers scratched. I initiate that contact. Blocking my fur to get feline cleansing is totally unacceptable. Plus, licking naked, fur-less skin is just disgusting. Get with the program, human.

Cats for dummies

Felines are nocturnal. Our naps and rests may be intermittent during the day but it, nonetheless, is bed time. For the past few days, pha has been coming upstairs during the night and is pretty confused by our greetings. The silly human thinks that any time we go near him, we need something. Sis and I are pleasant and cordial creatures who welcome night-company. An initial rub through the legs on our part, a cursory touch of whiskers on his, and introductions are complete. Curled on the chair, sprawled at the door, we are quite content with politely watching pha move about. There is no need for aggressive scratching of heads(ours) or bewildered querying(him). Pha is baffled by our exemplary behaviour. Hopefully, this post will help. It still doesn't mean that I like him

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

Humans have weird litter-boxes. I see any nature call as an opportunity to mark your territory and stamp your authority. To accomplish these and more, the litter-box must be in a fairly accessible place. It's one of life's great joys to ambush a creature, who shall remain Nathan, during the act. We, the cats, have been denied this pleasure by humans. Pha, for example, has a door outside his litter-box which he closes each and every occasion. The time spent inside causes worry and suspicion. The lack of sandy pellets is quite bothersome. I need more mammals to bug and pha so deserves to be the next candidate.

Turn off the mute

We have been giving these group of humans the pleasure of our company for a while now. Most of them tend to crave our attention and proximity. Living with pha has become a little more bearable. I recently got acquainted with his lap. Sis used to spend hours there but she has moved to plumper and softer spots.Whenever I get near pha, he tries to pet and caress me. To receive such honour, pha must adhere to proper protocol. The touch must be light and accurate. He also must utter my praises with appropriate aliases. Pha has been neglecting the second part. He better learn or his lap will be cat-less again.

Bullied [jul 03, 2007]

I was sitting on the kitchen window when the travesty happened. It was a pleasant evening with a hint of breeze. A tasty looking squirrel was dashing through the driveway. Pha usually puts a chair next to the window to ease our ascent. Nathan came and sat on it. Annoyed, I gave bro a long stare. He mirrored it. I let out a vicious hiss. He didn't even blink. Fixing my eyes on him, I pulled back my ears, bared my teeth and produced a growl-hiss medley. He seemed amused by it. Defeated, I jumped down and ran away. I know where your litter-box is, Nathan. This cat on cat crime will not go unpunished.

Insomniac [jun 17, 2007]

It was around noon and I had a long day. The early morning boxing match with sis was pretty spirited. Two tongue-baths were needed thanks to a refreshing combing session. The backrest of my sofa was ideal for a pre-sleep nap. As I settled for a snooze, pha came and sat next to me. What was he doing upstairs during daytime? Being my usual generous self I let him stay for a while. He wouldn't budge as my nap ended and the sleep time approached. I went for a walk and a drink hoping he would move. He didn't. I yelled at him, nothing. I sprawled on the floor in my sleeping posture to give him a hint. As usual he didn't get it. I went back to the backrest and started snoring as loud as I could. With a resigned sigh, pha went to the other couch. My bed was finally empty and thanks to the silly human it was warm too. Curling into a ball, I give him a last dirty look before drifting into sleep.

Why did the chicken cross this threshold? [jun 11, 2007]

Pha was washing meat. I asked for it demurely, ignored. I asked for it cutely, snubbed. Assured of victory, I stood on my hind-legs and tilted my head imploringly towards the brute. Instead of a warranted juicy chunk, he stomped his foot and made me run away!!! This isn't a way to treat a silken haired, grace filled, handsome feline like me. I wish the Sleepy Cooker was doing the washing, at least she only protests verbally. I almost always get a few pieces off her through my antics...err...charms. Back to pha, what does he do with that mouthwatering bird? He bastes it in butter and garlic! Give it to us RAW, give it to us WRIGGLING. Hey what is he doing now? Nooooo he ruins it, he ruins it. The stupid fat idiot has put it in the heat-box. Filthy humans! they stole it from us, they...yawn...enough activity, time for a nap.

Rhapsody [jan 07, 2006]

Weird word that. I discovered something wonderful recently and hopefully will remember it from now on. My whiskers have been the itchier and dirtier parts of my otherwise immaculately clean body. I would have referenced greek gods but I don't know if they were smart enough to recognize the greatness of felines. Anyways, I was feeling quite benevolent so I went to sit besides pha on his bed. As usual he started caressing and slightly scratching my head and neck. I directed his fingers to the right spots by moving my head around and nudging his hand in the right directions. Being generous, I honoured him by licking his fingers as he approached my whiskers. What a great feeling I got! Just after one go around, my whiskers felt a lot less itchier. I had the process repeated and felt a lot fresher too. After getting my work done I debated between staying and leaving. Pha was getting a little too comfortable so I lightly bit his fingers and left.

Don't worry silly human, I'll be back.

[jan 07, 2006]

The Right Honourable Cats forgot their login info. They are back until something interesting happens.

Mad [jan 15, 2005]

I am banned from pha's room, Nathan is hogging all the treats, getting to water is a chore and I am pissed. At first, it was amusing to see the high level of fondness Nathan showed towards these new treats. Now it is irritating. He won't let me in the room for anything other than accessing litter-box or water-fountain. Even those visits are timed. I linger a touch longer and he pounces on me. He has even developed a liking for grooming. I was intercepted twice last couple of days trying to reach pha's stomach for a nap. I am hoping pha would do something about this situation as I am running out of ideas. Uh oh, here comes Nathan...hiss....

Protecting self-interest [jan 11, 2005]

Pha brought sis down today to comb her. She is still unaware of the deal I have going with pha. One grooming session costs one handful of treats. Once pha was done combing her, I had to chase sis away. Crunchy treats are a precious commodity and if sis gets the same deal, the goodies won't last very long. The thing is, I hate grooming, I protest physically and verbally during the sessions. Sis, on the other hand, loves being combed. She'd flip this way and that way, turn and roll, lick and purr, do anything to have a thorough job done. That sends pha wrong messages. I am doing pha a favour by letting him groom me. Sis makes pha feel as if he is the one who has the upper hand. Who knows, a time might come when we have to give pha treats to have our work done. Nah, humans are too stupid. Still, I have to protect my interests. Hopefully sis will understand and stop moping around. Those treats are mine, only mine!!!

Stumped [jan 11, 2005]

Usually I come here to criticize pha. Today, however, I have to take issue with Nathan. For the past few days I have been away from pha's room. I know Nathan has been getting regularly groomed. Today, pha carried me to his room and combed me for a long time. Near the end, Nathan came to the room and started circling pha. After I was done, I walked away a little distance, sat down and began to give myself a tongue-bath. I was busy licking my arms when Nathan attacked me. I wasn't in a fighting mood so I walked away. It is rare for Nathan to initiate aggression, specially at this time of the day. We have our sparring matches in early morning or maybe during or after his nature-calls. Anways, after I walked away, pha picked Nathan up and tried to comb him. Perhaps, pha wanted to calm him down. It turned out, Nathan didn't want any part of that. He left the room soon afterwards. Pha is usually clueless regarding our behaviour but this time round I am stumped too. Jealous Nathan...makes me giggle.

Home circus...wow [jan 09, 2005]

It has to be the funniest thing I've ever encountered. The entire specturm made an appearance on pha's face as he struggled to comprehend what had just happened to him. I don't feel sorry for him either. He got what was coming to him. It all started this evening. I had to endure yet another grooming frenzy. I don't know how to make it clear to pha that while I like the attention, I am not crazy about the particular act...combing. Back to my story, after pha was done, he offered me a handful of treats. As I was busily gobbling the goodies it happened. I spilled a couple of treats on the floor. Pha picked them up, gave one to me and, inexplicably, put the other in his mouth. Before he knew what just happened, the little tablet was down his throat. His eyes widened as his mouth tried to make sense of the unique taste. I guess he didn't share my views about these crunchy morsels as he raced to the other side of the room to stuff his mouth full of mints. Ironically he exhibited the same eagerness eating those tic-tacs as I do eating treats. Long after the whole episode was over, pha could be found muttering nasties to himself. Serves him right, the piece he ate was mine.

Unwanted Grooming Season [jan 08, 2005]

The combs are here and I am the first victim. It angers me that I was duped by the mere sight of crunchy treats again. The pet store bags just arrived along with the two primary humans. Almost everything was there, dry food, wet food, catnip triangle and crunchy treats. While I was supervising the appropriate removal of these goodies I caught a glimpse of a shiny, new comb. It has been 30 minutes since and I have gone through two grooming sessions. The vile device is now lying next to my water-fountain and its obvious my biting has had little effect. I guess I have to look at the bright side, two handful of treats and a new triangle. Hopefully pha will get bored and let me do my own grooming. Hairballs aren't that bad. The salty ones are even prophetic. Time to get high on catnip.

Philosophical musings [jan 06, 2005]

I just had the weirdest thing happen to me. There still is a little after-taste in my mouth that might even be in the next hairball. I was sitting on the couch, licking my butt when my tongue went through a salty patch. It has to do something with the food. I wonder if sis is experiencing similar events. Learning about that, though, might take a little while. Our shy little Florence is almost as lazy as pha when it comes to grooming. It is one of those rare moments when pha can be excused. The poor fellow can't reach his butt. I wonder if he has ever tried. Back to Florence, I hope she has a lengthy session in the near future. I can feel a combing frenzy happening pretty soon. What do you know, I am predicting future after licking my butt. That reminds me, I wasn't done grooming. Later, blog.

Goof Hunt [jan 06, 2005]

Today there is a lot of white stuff outside. I am dreading the imminent heat increase. I have tolerated this group of humans for years now but their fetish for warmth is still beyond me. Granted they don't have as thick a coat as Nathan or I do but there has to be some limit. Speaking of silly creatures, I haven't seen that idiot neighbour tigger for a while now. I wonder if some other cat finally taught him a lesson. On days like today, he used to visit my window zone and mark MY territoy just to anger me. He always seemed too cold and miserable but would act as if he had the better life. Canadian winters and outdoor cats, I sure pity the fools. White stuff and tigger, interlinked, minor nuisance, outside my window, amusing sights, nothing more. I am beginning to have trouble thinking straight. Time for a nap...

Sweating bullets [jan 05, 2005]

This has to be a short visit. I didn't know fear could penetrate that deep. Pha was being stupid, again, yesterday. I hate that long-tailed, ugly looking, dirt-sucking contraption...and I am not talking about pha. Yesterday was hell. I sense movement. What if it's a repeat? I better take cover...

Nightmare Unleashed [jan 05, 2005]

Yesterday the monster returned. Its horrible shrieks and quaking movements had me scared to death. For some reason pha decided to wield the beast all over his room. The worst part of the entire scenario was that he was being thorough. He is never thorough! I have a sneaking suspicion that he isn't done meddling around just yet. After the horrid vacuum cleaner, the furniture is sure to be moved. I normally don't mind that as it gives me new territory to explore but I worry about sis. She stayed undercover hours after the ordeal was over. She has done some small scouting expeditions into the revamped area but is still quite scared. I can't decide whether to attack the furniture upstairs or give pha and other humans a piece of my mind. I guess I'll do both.

Scouting Territory [jan 04, 2005]

Hmm, Nathan expects support from here. Good luck, bro, place's a dump. I'd rather be napping but there's just too much commotion around my sleeping areas. This used to be one of my prime locations but not anymore. Pha is being weird these days. He's staying way too much upright. He knows I like him lying flat on his back with straight legs so I can sleep on him and yet he isn't complying. Some people can be so rude! As long as I am here I better look around. Oh goody, Nathan is going to the litter box, perfect time for an ambush...

Stupid alpha human [dec 13, 2004]

I am so mad right now. I attacked the scratch-post til it fell, no relief. I even mauled the entire side of the couch, still not feeling better. For days now I have been trying to tell pha that I want some fish. He kept giving me lamb and rice. I finally decided to let him off the hook. I made up my mind to really want lamb, as much as I wanted fish. I did such a good job that I forgot about fish. All I could think of was lamb. Come dinner time, I took sis and both of us went to fetch pha. I was so ready for lamb. Pha took long time, as he normally does, fixing our plate. I could have sworn we waited for over a minute! Finally, he set the plate down and what did I see there...FISH! Since then I am ignoring pha and attacking everything I can get my paws on. Next victim, the drappery.

It's About Time! [original post dec 09, 2004]

Pha just cleaned our litter box. I always wonder what takes him so long. Can't he smell that stuff? If that sense of his isn't developed enough, can't he see the darn clumps?!? Sis thought she had found a perfect solution, be inside, aim outside. The stench almost knocked me unconscious. Sadly, sis got chased away, her efforts remained untouched for hours. She is still at it but pha just keeps ignoring. Oh well, box is clean now and I can't resist being the first.